Monday, November 3, 2014

Peace and quiet

Peace and quiet. The only sound I can hear is the farmer out in the field near my house. I'm sprawled out in my bed thinking of nothing more than this moment I'm in right now. But my mind easily drifts to the events of the day and days past. Breathe in. Breathe out. I close my eyes and see my beautiful daughter. A smile begins to curl at my lips and I feel happy. She's the one thing that I can always count on to make me feel happy.  Sometimes I wonder when did I get here? Marriage. A family. It seems it wasn't so long ago that I was wildly single. And yet, it was a lifetime ago. Ancient history. I can no longer hear the farmer out in the field. Instead, the sound of his tractor has been replaced by the howling wind. The sound soothes me and draws me back to the here and now. Tick tock tick tock. The clock noise I never noticed before now sounds as loud as the wind. The baby monitor on my night stand gently whirs from the heater running in the baby's room. And soft breaths come from the floor where my dog is resting. I can't explain why, but it all sounds so wonderfully beautiful to me that it is overwhelming. I close my eyes and once again think of my daughter. My whole world. My everything. How did I get so lucky to be her mother?

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Free? Not even close...

I wish when I created this blog I would have thought about the name a little longer. Yes, I do feel happy and I am fairly healthy, but I am definitely not free... What I mean is that I am not free of problems or worries or self doubt and so many other things. I don't think that is a reality that I could ever say is mine. Here's what got me thinking...

While reading a fellow blogger's post about wearing imaginary tshirts that explain something about ourselves because we feel the need to make ourselves seem better than we do at that moment (f.e. Somebody eating a big fat cheeseburger might wish they were wearing a tshirt that says 'I usually order a salad'), I began to think about all the imaginary tshirts that I wear. Honestly, it made me a little sad. Here's why..

The first tshirt I thought of was 'I didn't used to be this uptight' and the second tshirt was 'I used to be a lot of fun.' Sure, many of us probably feel this way at some point. It's understandable, right? But then I asked myself why? Why am I so uptight now? Why am I not fun anymore? Seriously, what happened to me!? I can't blame it on having a kid or even getting married because I felt this change slowly happening before those events occurred. I think initially I told myself that this is what happens when you grow up. I am an adult and I have responsibilities. It's time to start acting that way. But since when did becoming a responsible adult mean that I wasn't allowed to have fun anymore? Bleh :/  I think what attracted Travis and I to each other 4 years ago was our ability to just have fun, go with the flow, and not care what other people think EVER. He is still that way and sadly I am not...but I'd like to be again. I'm just not sure how to get there, but I am willing to try. If not for my sake, for the sake of my husband.

Imaginary tshirts hang in all our closets because at some point we do care what other people think. I think that's fine and quite unavoidable. But when we start to think about what those tshirts say and why, we might try a little harder to donate them to Goodwill.

Below is a picture of me sitting/riding a moving sidewalk in Las Vegas. Definitely a time when I felt free and wore an imaginary shirt that said 'I don't give a crap what you think of me :)'

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

And then. . .

My daughter Zoey, who is now just over 7 months old, has got to be the greatest blessing I have ever received in my life thus far, other than my husband. I often find myself staring at her in awe and wonderment. . .that is, when she isn't attempting to crawl on top of me trying to get my undivided attention in a different way. Just the thought of her makes me smile and almost teary eyed at times. When I am away from her and see other little ones I miss her terribly. My heart is so full of love for this nearly 20 pound little Daddy look alike! I guess this is just what it's like to be a Mommy.

I have no idea where I left off months ago in my last blog post . . .All I can say is that from now until then has been a great time! I FINALLY lost 'the last 5 pounds' that were causing me so much trouble. Basically once I actually started trying to lose it a month or so ago it started to come off. Just started eating better, exercising (mostly treadmill walking), and using a few Herbalife products. Yesterday I started up a Jillian Michaels workout. I plan to do that for one month then do a round of Insanity which lasts two months. We are going on vacation in January to Jamaica so that's part of my motivation to get into better shape. That reason and also because I'm hoping to start trying to get pregnant again sometime in the next 6 months. But if I've learned anything about the journey to pregnancy it's that you can't plan it at all!

One of the biggest lessons I've learned from parenting is how to be patient. Just ask my husband...I was literally one of the least patient people he knew. Technically I'm still very impatient especially in traffic, if I'm standing in line or dealing with my husband. But when it comes to my daughter I typically have all the patience in the world. I'll admit there are times I want to I pull my hair out or cry but all of the good times far outweigh the bad :)

So that's just a little update on what's going on with me. Hopefully I'll have something more insightful to write about next time ;P

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Nursery Room

Quite a few months ago I decided to paint what was supposed to be a playroom for our coming baby and other future children. After I got it started, however, I ended up making it the nursery instead. We live in a pretty old farmhouse that has been added on to a few different times over the years. Our upstairs consists of three 'bedrooms' and one smaller room which is used for storage. Two of the rooms were somewhat remodeled by previous owners, leaving one 'bedroom' and the storage room left as is. I chose to paint the less than stellar looking bedroom for the baby. I wish I would have taken a before picture so you could see just how awful the room actually was. It was painted white, probably years and years ago, but was an off-white nasty color. There were brownish/yellowish water stains on some of the walls, that were ridiculously hard to paint over, from when the room used to leak. The carpet was less than eye appealing, but I didn't want to spend the money to replace it, as we plan to build a new house in a few years down the road, so I needed to cover that up a bit. This is the finished product!
Here is a run down of what I did...First, I painted the entire room with 2 coats of kilz. The areas with the water stains I had to paint 3 or 4 times before it was good enough for me. Then I had to draw out my clouds with a pencil. I did not use stencils or anything, just took a pencil and drew puffy clouds. Next, I used some leftover blue paint from painting my bathroom to paint the sky, making sure to paint around my clouds. I only did one coat of the blue because I figured since it was the sky it didn't need to be perfectly blue in all areas! Once I was done with that, I painted the wood trim grass green and also painted long wispy grass above the trim. There is not an art to painting grass...just a flick of the wrist is all you need. When all of the painting was done, I put some fun stickers on some of the walls, including flowers, birds, an owl, bunny, squirrel, nuts, mushrooms, and butterflies. I also had the coolest tree sticker just off to the right of the crib where the 2 pictures are hanging now...but, turns out my walls weren't smooth enough and it fell down and made a mess. I ended up having to throw it away :( I bought an 8x8 green area rug to imitate grass, had Trav's grandmother make a yellow curtain to imitate the sun, and then arranged the crib, changing table, dresser, and cube shelving. As you can see by the photos, there is no closet in the room, so I found a nice garment rack and hung up baby Zoey's growing wardrobe in the corner by the window. All in all, for a little bit of work and not a lot of money...roughly $425 to cover the costs of all the paints, sticker decals, area rug (just over $200 alone), changing table, picture frames, cube shelving, canvas storage boxes, garment rack, material for curtain, light fixture, mattress pad, and green crib liner, I was able to transform an old, practically unusable room into a cute nursery for Zoey! Everything else seen in the pictures were given as gifts! The only task left to do is hang up the wood letters that spell out Zoey's name. Can't wait until the weather warms up so we can actually get some use out of the room! It's currently been too cold, since we are too cheap to heat the upstairs!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Hello World!

So I'm pretty sure that in my last post I said I was going to try and not wait a few months before posting again...guess that didn't work out so well! I will give you all a brief update over what has happened up until now. Travis and I finally got to meet our little bundle of joy...I was right all along because baby was a SHE!! Zoey Ann came a week late and all on her own. She couldn't be more perfect. As for the labor and delivery, that actually went very smooth as well. There was a brief moment during my contractions that I told Travis I didn't think I was going to go through this again...but, once I got my epidural a couple hours later it became a piece of cake! Kudos to the Mamas that do it without an epidural, but for the life of me, I don't know why anyone would do it without one, LOL! Fast forward to almost 8 weeks later and baby girl is still doing excellent! Early on in the pregnancy Travis and I decided that I wouldn't be returning to work...at least not for quite a while. I know from experience what it is like to grow up without having parents around...my mom because she was busy working to support 4 kids and a husband..and my dad because, well, I don't know where he was or what he was doing, but I do remember he wasn't ever around. If Travis and I could swing it financially with me staying home, well then that was what we were going to do. However, my days aren't completely devoted to little Zoey. I also started doing the bookwork for Trav's tree business. It's a lot of fun and keeps my brain working :) It's a real joy to be working together with my husband. Granted, he's gone during the day doing the manual labor, but when he comes home we discuss jobs he's been at, how to bill customers, and other items relating to business. I typically know where he's working each day, and sometimes if it's in town, Zoey and I take a little drive to go see him and even to give him rides between jobs so he can move his equipment more efficiently. A little over a year ago I started this blog to hold myself accountable in keeping a healthier lifestyle. This time last year I was in the best shape of my life! I was running my fastest times and had so many goals in mind that I wanted to achieve before 2013 was over. When I found out I was pregnant in June, after 6 months of trying, I was very excited, but also knew that I wouldn't be able to reach those goals when I wanted to anymore. I continued to run for a few weeks after I found out, even ran one more 5K and walked another, but my heart rate was always higher than what was recommended so I finally just stuck to walking. Eventually the fatigue and exhuastion from the 1st trimester won out and I became somewhat of a couch potato. I walked when I found energy, but pretty soon keeping up on housework became more of a priority, so I used my energy there instead. I was always very concious of my body and it's changes throughout my entire pregnancy. I did my best to maintain a healthy diet, but found myself splurging towards the end. I found myself craving pop of all things! I have never been a big pop drinker, but wanted it so badly I didn't tell myself no. I also craved sweets...Little Debbie's to be specific. I remember coming home one day with a box of them. Travis said he'd never even seen me buy them before and that I'd also never let him get them either, but yet there I was holding a box of Zebra Cakes! It was a little comical. To make this long spiel a little less long, I ended up gaining a total of 32 lbs during my pregnancy. Since the delivery date, which was February 20th, I've managed to lose 27 lbs...12 of which I lost right away during my stay in the hospital...and 10 within the next week at home. The last 5 have slowly come off over the last 6 weeks. That makes 5 more lbs to go before I get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm not gonna lie, it's been tough so far. I've still been craving sugary foods and drinks, so I've had to try and train myself to let go of the cravings. The weather hasn't been the greatest so it's been hard to get outside a whole lot. I take Zoey on a walk as often as the weather permits, and hop on my treadmil when I can at home. In fact, my first time on the treadmil was a mere week and a half after giving birth. I felt good, so thought what the heck? Since then, I've ran maybe a dozen times or so. My legs like the workout, but my hips and pelvis seem to disagree :/ I haven't made it any further than about 2 miles before I decide it's time to quit. It's proving harder than I expected it to be. My goals for 2014 are to be the best, healthiest, and most loving Mom and wife I can be. Stay tuned to see how my story unfolds :)

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Pregnancy Update

9 more days....ideally, this baby will be born within 9 more days! I am so ready to start the next chapter in this journey! Sometimes I feel like the day will never come, however, I'm sure it will be here before I know it. Last week I was supposed to go in for my 38 week appointment, but got called off since my doctor got called in to deliver some other lucky lady. So, instead I will be going in tomorrow to see if my body has made any progress. I'm anxious to see what we will find out...if anything. Now that I got that ramble out...can't believe it's been so long since my last post. I tried to type a post a couple weeks ago, but something is wrong with Blogger and my computer compatibility. It's not working the way it's supposed to. I had to resort to typing this in HTML format, so my appologies that this will be one long paragraph with maybe some other minor discrepancies. So, here I am in my final week/s of pregnancy...and to be honest, it's been a pretty easy and smooth 9 months so far. Most of the annoying symptoms I just started dealing with in the last few weeks, including nasty heartburn and indigestion, MINOR swelling in my hands, and CONSTANT fatigue and exhaustion. Other than that, I've not had too much to complain about. I sleep fairly well at night. The worst part is trying to roll from one side to the other...I do a lot of grunting in the process. My husband has informed me that I've acquired quite the ability to put out a good snore. The other night I found him out on the couch. I went and asked him if he was going to come back to bed...he said, I don't know, are you done snoring like a freight train? Hahaha whoops. Lately I've managed to wake myself up from snoring a few different times. I don't know, I guess it doesn't bother me any :) But, I guess that's what happens when you pack on 25-30 pounds and your insides get all smooshed together and you can't breathe like you used to. I'm just glad I'm sleeping. Well, that's all I have time for. I'll try not to wait so long until my next post. Peace out!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

26 weeks down, 14 to go

Tomorrow I go in for a 26 week appointment. Just a routine checkup...take my weight, blood pressure, listen to the baby's heartbeat, and ask me if I have any questions. I'm taking my mom with me, so hopefully hearing the heartbeat will be fun for her.

So far, this pregnancy has been fairly easy. I dealt with a little queasiness and fatigue in the first trimester and other than that, it's been mostly smooth sailing. I've gained about 13-14 pounds so far, which is right where I should be for my starting weight and height. Now that my bump is very noticeable, I've been having a little lower back pain, but nothing awful yet. I feel like I'm hungry all the time! Even though I'm constantly snacking throughout the day, I can't say that I've ever had any particular cravings for anything specific...other than chocolate.

The nursery is almost finished up. I painted the walls and ceiling to look like the sky. Blue with big puffy clouds. I also painted grass on the bottom. I found some really cute sticker decals to put up of a tree and some animals and other small things. They looked super cute! Until they started falling down. I got most of them to stay up, but the big tree fell down and got ruined :(  I guess the wall wasn't smooth enough to keep it stuck on. Bummer, but oh well. We got the crib and changing table put together and are using an old dresser for clothes. Since the house is so old, there are no closets in any of the upstairs rooms, which stinks, but the dresser will do just fine. I also ordered a large green area rug for the floor since the carpet isn't very attractive. I got green so it will seem like grass....maybe? Travis and I put together a cube shelving unit as well, which will store books, toys, etc. Only things left to do are get a curtain for the window and install a new ceiling light fixture. I'd also really like to get a rocker glider and possibly put that in the nursery.

My friend Laney offered to throw me a baby shower at the end of November, so am looking forward to that coming up in a few weeks. Originally I assumed I'd have it in January, but am so thankful that it will be before the Christmas holiday and nasty winter weather! Thank you in advance, Laney! I appreciate you, and your continual friendship means the world to me. Seriously love that girl :)

More updates to come soon...