Peace and quiet. The only sound I can hear is the farmer out in the field near my house. I'm sprawled out in my bed thinking of nothing more than this moment I'm in right now. But my mind easily drifts to the events of the day and days past. Breathe in. Breathe out. I close my eyes and see my beautiful daughter. A smile begins to curl at my lips and I feel happy. She's the one thing that I can always count on to make me feel happy. Sometimes I wonder when did I get here? Marriage. A family. It seems it wasn't so long ago that I was wildly single. And yet, it was a lifetime ago. Ancient history. I can no longer hear the farmer out in the field. Instead, the sound of his tractor has been replaced by the howling wind. The sound soothes me and draws me back to the here and now. Tick tock tick tock. The clock noise I never noticed before now sounds as loud as the wind. The baby monitor on my night stand gently whirs from the heater running in the baby's room. And soft breaths come from the floor where my dog is resting. I can't explain why, but it all sounds so wonderfully beautiful to me that it is overwhelming. I close my eyes and once again think of my daughter. My whole world. My everything. How did I get so lucky to be her mother?
Happy, Healthy & Finally FREE!
Monday, November 3, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Free? Not even close...
I wish when I created this blog I would have thought about the name a little longer. Yes, I do feel happy and I am fairly healthy, but I am definitely not free... What I mean is that I am not free of problems or worries or self doubt and so many other things. I don't think that is a reality that I could ever say is mine. Here's what got me thinking...
While reading a fellow blogger's post about wearing imaginary tshirts that explain something about ourselves because we feel the need to make ourselves seem better than we do at that moment (f.e. Somebody eating a big fat cheeseburger might wish they were wearing a tshirt that says 'I usually order a salad'), I began to think about all the imaginary tshirts that I wear. Honestly, it made me a little sad. Here's why..
The first tshirt I thought of was 'I didn't used to be this uptight' and the second tshirt was 'I used to be a lot of fun.' Sure, many of us probably feel this way at some point. It's understandable, right? But then I asked myself why? Why am I so uptight now? Why am I not fun anymore? Seriously, what happened to me!? I can't blame it on having a kid or even getting married because I felt this change slowly happening before those events occurred. I think initially I told myself that this is what happens when you grow up. I am an adult and I have responsibilities. It's time to start acting that way. But since when did becoming a responsible adult mean that I wasn't allowed to have fun anymore? Bleh :/ I think what attracted Travis and I to each other 4 years ago was our ability to just have fun, go with the flow, and not care what other people think EVER. He is still that way and sadly I am not...but I'd like to be again. I'm just not sure how to get there, but I am willing to try. If not for my sake, for the sake of my husband.
Imaginary tshirts hang in all our closets because at some point we do care what other people think. I think that's fine and quite unavoidable. But when we start to think about what those tshirts say and why, we might try a little harder to donate them to Goodwill.
Below is a picture of me sitting/riding a moving sidewalk in Las Vegas. Definitely a time when I felt free and wore an imaginary shirt that said 'I don't give a crap what you think of me :)'
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
And then. . .
I have no idea where I left off months ago in my last blog post . . .All I can say is that from now until then has been a great time! I FINALLY lost 'the last 5 pounds' that were causing me so much trouble. Basically once I actually started trying to lose it a month or so ago it started to come off. Just started eating better, exercising (mostly treadmill walking), and using a few Herbalife products. Yesterday I started up a Jillian Michaels workout. I plan to do that for one month then do a round of Insanity which lasts two months. We are going on vacation in January to Jamaica so that's part of my motivation to get into better shape. That reason and also because I'm hoping to start trying to get pregnant again sometime in the next 6 months. But if I've learned anything about the journey to pregnancy it's that you can't plan it at all!
One of the biggest lessons I've learned from parenting is how to be patient. Just ask my husband...I was literally one of the least patient people he knew. Technically I'm still very impatient especially in traffic, if I'm standing in line or dealing with my husband. But when it comes to my daughter I typically have all the patience in the world. I'll admit there are times I want to I pull my hair out or cry but all of the good times far outweigh the bad :)
So that's just a little update on what's going on with me. Hopefully I'll have something more insightful to write about next time ;P
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Nursery Room
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Hello World!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Pregnancy Update
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
26 weeks down, 14 to go
So far, this pregnancy has been fairly easy. I dealt with a little queasiness and fatigue in the first trimester and other than that, it's been mostly smooth sailing. I've gained about 13-14 pounds so far, which is right where I should be for my starting weight and height. Now that my bump is very noticeable, I've been having a little lower back pain, but nothing awful yet. I feel like I'm hungry all the time! Even though I'm constantly snacking throughout the day, I can't say that I've ever had any particular cravings for anything specific...other than chocolate.
The nursery is almost finished up. I painted the walls and ceiling to look like the sky. Blue with big puffy clouds. I also painted grass on the bottom. I found some really cute sticker decals to put up of a tree and some animals and other small things. They looked super cute! Until they started falling down. I got most of them to stay up, but the big tree fell down and got ruined :( I guess the wall wasn't smooth enough to keep it stuck on. Bummer, but oh well. We got the crib and changing table put together and are using an old dresser for clothes. Since the house is so old, there are no closets in any of the upstairs rooms, which stinks, but the dresser will do just fine. I also ordered a large green area rug for the floor since the carpet isn't very attractive. I got green so it will seem like grass....maybe? Travis and I put together a cube shelving unit as well, which will store books, toys, etc. Only things left to do are get a curtain for the window and install a new ceiling light fixture. I'd also really like to get a rocker glider and possibly put that in the nursery.
My friend Laney offered to throw me a baby shower at the end of November, so am looking forward to that coming up in a few weeks. Originally I assumed I'd have it in January, but am so thankful that it will be before the Christmas holiday and nasty winter weather! Thank you in advance, Laney! I appreciate you, and your continual friendship means the world to me. Seriously love that girl :)
More updates to come soon...